pregnancy update: 36.5 weeks

How far along: 36.5 weeks

Weight gain: 25 lbs as of a month ago but I only use my midwives scale (for accuracy + I don’t own one) and it broke…I know I’ve gained a lot in the last month tho.

Sleep: It’s harder and harder to turn from side to side and really painful getting out of the bed to pee at all hours. I’ve been napping a lot and feeling more tired than ever in my life, even more so than that first trimester. I tend to really need a nap mid morning after breakfast for about 2-3 hours and then I can function for a couple hours before I need another 2 hour nap. Evenings I’m more alert and able to function. Because of the schedule my fatigue has taken it’s making going to work from 9-4 more and more difficult and I’m thankful to only work 3 days a week.

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Highs of the week: My Blessingway. A Blessingway is a Navajo tradition that these days is an alternative to a baby shower. It’s a tradition of women gathering together to love and bless to the mother to be as she enters the final weeks of pregnancy and prepares for labor and delivery. My friend Amber was so kind to organize and plan it for me. Sunday morning my dearest Goddess friends gathered at my home with food and beverages and flowers. They made me a beautiful flower crown and each brought a bead that represented something to them and went in a circle blessing me as they put their bead on a string to become a necklace for me to wear as I finish these days. The love I felt brought me to tears and I’m so sad to be moving away from this amazing network of powerful women. Another high is that I finally have almost everything we need for the home birth only short the tub which I don’t think we’ll get until closer to the due date, and the car seat from insurance which got back-ordered and is currently getting expedited to get here by my due date.

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Lows of the week: It’s getting more and more difficult to breath even though the baby has dropped – I just don’t have a lot of room for him in there. My ribs are bruising more and more so it hurts like fire around the clock. The fatigue. My feet keep swelling making shoes so uncomfortable. Been fighting off a cold to top it all off.

Baby movement: Lots of stretching out. He runs his feet/knees along my right side and sometimes I can make out the toes – big to little. He still loves to tuck those feet around my right ribs which is causing burning bruising pain but the end is nigh so I’m just trying to stay strong.

Food cravings: SWEETS. And fruit. Still.

Labor signs: Still braxton hicks throughout the day and night, but not painful yet. I think I lost my mucus plug last weekend so I must be starting to dilate. My guess is 1-2 cm.

Overall mood: That’s a loaded question. I hit 36 weeks three days ago and with that magical number comes the realization that I am really almost there. The homestretch. I’m counting down everything – days left at my job, days until my mother in law arrives, days to get everything in order, number of things I have left to get in order, etc., etc. I also feel sad a lot of the time. Sadness as I actively say goodbye to a life I’ve known as an individual and in our marriage. Goodbyes to my routines, habits, rituals. A strange sadness as I count down to the end of this pregnancy journey, the end of my baby being inside me, growing, and always being with me. On top of that, new fears are sneaking in. I haven’t felt an ounce of fear about labor/delivery or motherhood this entire pregnancy until now. The only fear I have around delivery is the fear of tearing and the pain that may cause. Which is kind of amusing considering everyone says it’s nothing compared to the contractions – which don’t scare me. I also suddenly have fears about once he’s born, what to do, not to do, and so on. Silly fears like what if the bedroom is too cold for him but we can’t afford to run heat in there? What if my milk doesn’t come in? Etc.

Looking forward to: Being done at work. It’s so hard and so exhausting for me now. The midwives/doula coming over tonight to go over the home birth game plan in my house. Having all my ducks in a row. Holding my baby.

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